It is so sad that the horror genre of movies is the easiest to produce. Low budgets and the same old story line riddle the horror genre and unfortunately, Silent Retreat isn’t any different.

It is the same old story of a bunch of people arriving at a location (this time a team of media buffs on a business getaway) only to find that the place has hidden mysteries (the lodge used to be an insane asylum). It predictably follows that the members of the team start to disappear and die off, one by one.

To add to the disastrous lack of creativity in the script, the direction is simply abysmal and the acting; well suffice it to say that a bunch of children overacting in a school play could have done better. In fact, the actors give you a sense that they simply don’t belong to the human race and their emotions and actions are simply out of synch with how normal humans would behave. But then who can blame them with only a terrible script and bad direction to follow.

But it’s not just the bad acting that makes this movie so awful. The characters are obnoxious, arrogant and seem to prefer to argue constantly using only senseless profanities. There is simply no cohesion between the members of the cast.

The worst character is the female who makes a ghastly attempt at putting on a fake British accent. There is simply no reason to have a Brit as part of the cast. It adds absolutely nothing to the story line.

As for the music and overall ambiance of the movie, it gives you more of a sense that you have sat down to watch a porno rather than a horror. And not even a good porno at that. If there had been a couple of sex scenes or even a touch of sexual tension between the characters, it might have been an improvement.

And there is a disappointing lack of the blood and gore that you would expect from a horror movie. What little there is, is far and few between and the characters simply seem to wander around quite aimlessly while the audience waits in anticipation, for something, anything, to happen.

Even the most hardy horror fan could be turned off the entire genre by watching this abortive attempt at movie making. It was difficult for me to see it through to the end even though I often enjoy some of the other low budget B or even C class horrors that others seem to hate.

On the upside, the scenery isn’t bad, but this can mainly be attributed to the choice of location. Lighting and camera work are not too shabby either. However, none of these positives factors make this movie worth watching.

I would like to lie to you and say that there is one noteworthy moment, but there isn’t. Don’t waste your time watching this trash. It gives horrors a bad name. It may be better to attend a real retreat and find happiness.